Of Love and Maths

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,
and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking
me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'
They stopped after I started doing the same thing
to them at funerals.

太 豪 華 了 . . . . .

誰敢騎上路

你真的那麼寂寞嗎 ....

這樣看起來舒服多了

這台才屌 !

這個動作 .....

沒錢買網子 ...

大哥 ~這樣很危險ㄝ~

誰說不能 5個人一起打麻將 ...

這真的是蘋果嗎 ?

The new Mercedes Benz SCL600

THE NEW BENZ -- Scary!

The new Mercedes Benz SCL600 - Very different....really different!

This car is really different.

That's not what is different about it.

That either....

.....and now for the 'really different' part:

Here is what is different.......

No steering wheel.......you drive it with a joystick. No pedals either.

Can you drive with a joystick? Your kids and grandkids probably can.

The influence of video games in our lives has really arrived, wouldn't yasay?

SCARY THOUGHT THAT NOW A 7 YEAR-OLD COULD DRIVE YOUR

CAR .....AND.....PROBABLY DRIVE IT BETTER THAN YOU!!!!

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names

This is hilarious



Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang
(Mandarin)-Dirty

Anne Chin
(Mandarin) - Keep quiet

Faye Chen
(Mandarin) - Dusty

Carl Cheng
(Hokkien) - Buttock

Monica Cheng
Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks

Lucy Leow
(Hokkien) - You are dead

Jane Tan
(Mandarin) - Frying eggs

Suzie Leow
(Hokkien) - Lost till death

Henry Mah
(Mandarin) - Hate your mum

Corrine Tai
(Hokkien) - Poor fellow

Paul Chan
(Mandarin) - Bankrupt

Nelson Tan
(Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs

Leslie Tong
(Mandarin) - Rubbish bin

Carmen Teng
(Hokkien) - Leg hair long

Connie Mah
(Cantonese) - Call your mother

Danny See
(Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death

Rosie Teng
(Hokkien) - Screws and nails

Pete Tsai
(Hokkien) - Nose droppings

Macy Koh
(Cantonese) - Never die before

some comment about guy

Men Are Hard To Pleased
男人很难取悦!!

The problems with GUYS:
男人的问题是：

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
如果妳对他好，他说妳爱上他了．

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.
对他不好，他说妳骄傲．

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
如果妳穿得很漂亮，他说你企图诱惑他．

If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
如果不，他说妳是乡下来的

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
如果妳跟他理论，他说妳固执

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
如果妳沉默，他说妳没大脑！

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
如果妳比他聪明，他说那是小聪明

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
如果他比你聪明，他就是有智慧！

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
如果妳不爱他，他想拥有妳

If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
如果妳爱他，他试着离开妳．

If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;
如果妳不跟他做爱，他说妳不爱他

If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
如果跟他做，他说你是贱货！

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROBLESOME;
如果妳告诉他妳的问题，他说妳麻烦

If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
如果不，他说妳不信任他

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
如果妳骂他，妳好象他奶妈

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
如果他骂妳，是表示他“关心”妳

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
如果妳没有守承诺，妳就是不可信的人

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
如果他不守承诺，他是迫不得已的

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
如果妳吸烟，妳是坏女孩

If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMENT.
如果他吸烟，他是绅士

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
如果妳考试成绩好，他说是运气

If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
如果他考得好，他说是实力！

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
如果妳伤害了他，表示妳很残忍

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
如果他伤害了妳，表示妳太敏感而且太难取悦！

SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!!!

If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......
如果你寄这封信给男生，他们会发誓以上是不正确的．．

but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....
如果你不寄给他们，他们说妳自私．．

Send this to guys out there anyway...
快转寄这邮件给男生吧！

Send it to girls also, gives them some laughter...
转寄给女生，让她们笑一笑！