Brave: July 2008

31 July 2008

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names

This is hilarious

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang
(Mandarin)-Dirty

Anne Chin
(Mandarin) - Keep quiet

Faye Chen
(Mandarin) - Dusty

Carl Cheng
(Hokkien) - Buttock

Monica Cheng
Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks

Lucy Leow
(Hokkien) - You are dead

Jane Tan
(Mandarin) - Frying eggs

Suzie Leow
(Hokkien) - Lost till death

Henry Mah
(Mandarin) - Hate your mum

Corrine Tai
(Hokkien) - Poor fellow

Paul Chan
(Mandarin) - Bankrupt

Nelson Tan
(Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs

Leslie Tong
(Mandarin) - Rubbish bin

Carmen Teng
(Hokkien) - Leg hair long

Connie Mah
(Cantonese) - Call your mother

Danny See
(Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death

Rosie Teng
(Hokkien) - Screws and nails

Pete Tsai
(Hokkien) - Nose droppings

Macy Koh
(Cantonese) - Never die before

29 July 2008

some comment about guy

Men Are Hard To Pleased
男人很难取悦!!

The problems with GUYS:
男人的问题是：

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
如果妳对他好，他说妳爱上他了．

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.
对他不好，他说妳骄傲．

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
如果妳穿得很漂亮，他说你企图诱惑他．

If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
如果不，他说妳是乡下来的

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
如果妳跟他理论，他说妳固执

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
如果妳沉默，他说妳没大脑！

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
如果妳比他聪明，他说那是小聪明

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
如果他比你聪明，他就是有智慧！

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
如果妳不爱他，他想拥有妳

If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
如果妳爱他，他试着离开妳．

If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;
如果妳不跟他做爱，他说妳不爱他

If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
如果跟他做，他说你是贱货！

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROBLESOME;
如果妳告诉他妳的问题，他说妳麻烦

If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
如果不，他说妳不信任他

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
如果妳骂他，妳好象他奶妈

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
如果他骂妳，是表示他“关心”妳

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
如果妳没有守承诺，妳就是不可信的人

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
如果他不守承诺，他是迫不得已的

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
如果妳吸烟，妳是坏女孩

If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMENT.
如果他吸烟，他是绅士

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
如果妳考试成绩好，他说是运气

If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
如果他考得好，他说是实力！

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
如果妳伤害了他，表示妳很残忍

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
如果他伤害了妳，表示妳太敏感而且太难取悦！

SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!!!

If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......
如果你寄这封信给男生，他们会发誓以上是不正确的．．

but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....
如果你不寄给他们，他们说妳自私．．

Send this to guys out there anyway...
快转寄这邮件给男生吧！

Send it to girls also, gives them some laughter...
转寄给女生，让她们笑一笑！

28 July 2008

a story

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped
in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then
plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid,
I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her
words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife
said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
wife. But I couldn t help doing so.

I moved Dew s hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture,
O.K.? I ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was
unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the
moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used
to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter
how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly,
she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was
sitting together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's
body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what
will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from
her. I couldn t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was
serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the
staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She
gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live
together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I ve got something
to tell you, I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly.

She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
softly, why? . I m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called
answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.
The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger
one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of
divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and
clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her
writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I
found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn t want anything from me,
but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in
the month s time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was
simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she
didn t want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?
This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she
continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your
arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished
to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face
the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made
me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn t had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a
long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine
wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were
still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The
visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.
I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn t tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried
quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my
dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was
because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because
I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.
Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to
touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential
part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at
the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our
wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me
in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn t notice that our life
was lack of such intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid
any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew
opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I m
serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no
fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can
only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because
we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I
carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to
hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the
office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my
wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the
greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I ll carry you out every
morning until we are old.